This is not mine. This is from a poster at a forum I frequent, from before I frequented it.
It is, however, something that makes me happy every time I think about it.
The backstory, as I understand it, goes like this: once upon a time, there was a poster called Dr.Ron. He wrote rather eloquent sentences, and was therefore a natural target for the LOLFAG people.
One day one of them, going by the name of Sivor, heckled at Ron a bit too much. The post that was the last straw went:
Why do you talk like such a fag?
Is it because you’re gay?
Ron didn´t respond immediately. The heckler probably had enough time to think he had won whatever fight he imagined had been going on.
Right up until Ron answered the call with this:
A sonnet, by Dr.Ron
Shall I fuck thee like a little bitch?
Thou art as whiney and as much in heat.
Thy dimpled cheeks dost set mine loins atwitch,
And seek impalement upon my rigid meat.
Sometimes too florid does my speech appear,
Juxtaposéd with thine porcine squeals;
But even thee shall turn a deafened ear
When shaft of mine, thine puckered anus feels.
But soon thy favoured status shall decline
As gaping hole no longer can entrance;
You’ll miss acute this eloquence of mine
As dear you’ll rue the absence of my lance.
So mark mine words, siv0r, and mark them well:
Old Nick will have thine crackwhore ass in Hell.
I am currently holding a small glass of whisky in my hand, and I raise it to this person for beating a fool like a fool should be beaten: with class, yet without mercy.
Godspeed, Ron, wherever you are. Godspeed.